If Republicans Would Just Shut up, They Would do Better

At least that is how Gary Segura, a Stanford University professor sees the Republican lineup appealing to Latino voters. What about the rest of us, are the contenders appealing to the average person in the middle class?

Be forewarned, using quotes can be dangerous. As Newt said to Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren “Any ad which quotes what I said Sunday is a falsehood,”

At a campaign stop in Florida, Cain told the crowd that we are Quote: “a nation of crises.” He listed the nation’s many crises, then added

Quote: “we’ve got a moral crisis!”

I wonder if adultery and sexual harassment qualify as moral crises. If they do, well Herman and Newt are adding to this moral breakdown.

Herman Cain speaking to Tea Party crowds at two campaign rallies in Tennessee:

Quote: “It’s going to be 20 feet high. It’s going to have barbed wire on the top. It’s going to be electrified. And there’s going to be a sign on the other side saying, ‘It will kill you!”

Cain later backtracked and said that was just a joke. Maybe it was an inside joke but I don’t get it. What is funny about killing Latinos trying to come in for a better life?

Quote: "We need a leader, not a reader."

Okay but I think we prefer a leader who is informed about the subjects that will demand decisions. Perhaps Herman is just a fan of the Simpsons and wants to be a president like President Schwarzenegger from (Simpsons - The Movie) "I was elected to lead, not to read" President Cain might demand that his daily briefing be presented in cartoon form

Quote: "Michele Bachmann... I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.... Tutti-frutti. I know I’m going to get in trouble”

That seems pretty accurate from my perspective but it does not seem to be very endearing to Bachmann supporters or even women in general.

Quote: "A poet once said, 'Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.'" (Aug. 11 Republican debate)

Herman must be a fan of cartoons, this bit of down home poetic wisdom comes from Donna Summer in her song 'The Power of One,'" recorded for Pokémon: The Movie 2000.

Quote: “when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know?”( interview with CBN News' David Brody)

Well, yeah, you hardly ever see cartoons about Uzbekistan, but as soon as one comes out. . . .

Quote: “A manly man don't want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza." (GQ interview)

I don’t know about you but I want to be a “manly man” so from now on I’m piling my pizza high with artery clogging meats. Besides Congress has already declared pizza can be counted as a vegetable.

Quote: "Why should I go and do something like that? But the Lord says, 'Be submissive wives; you are to be submissive to your husbands."( 2006 speech at a Megachurch in Minneapolis)

So, will President Bachmann be submissive to her husband when elected? Just exactly who are we voting for? His is good news for men in this country, wives it is time to be submissive, ask your husband for your opinions.

Quote: "I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?"
(Calling for a new McCarthyism, Oct. 2008)

As much as I disagree with our group of politicians, I don’t think they are anti-American. When Bachmann is elected President, will we have a purge of elected officials? We should all be very careful about what we say. The First Amendment may only apply to those who say what has been approved by President Bachmann.

Quote: "But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.
(Speaking at Iowan's for Tax Relief event in January 2011)

I wonder why we fought the Civil War. I always thought that the South seceded from the Union to protect their state’s rights to keep slaves. Now Michelle has taught me that the Founding Fathers ended slavery and John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father at the ripe old age of eight years old. It may be time to destroy your history books. There must be some cartoons around that will clear up any confusion

Quote: "I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter.”

Alright! This bit of wisdom completely ignores facts and reality. Gerald Ford was president when Swine Flu broke out. Obviously then Gerald Ford caused Swine Flu and Swine Flu started out as a Republican plot to destroy . . . . What? Don’t tell me that the President isn’t going around starting diseases! The media should investigate!

Quote: “Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won’t be, just work hard, because you are going to inherit this and you’re counting on us to get this right.”

So, in Perry’s world you don’t get to vote for him unless you’re 21. The rest of us can vote when we are 18 but for those who are 21, please wait for November 12 to vote for him. Personally I think I would vote on November 6. but then I don’t think I will vote for Perry. Anyone that wants to vote Republican on November 12 is welcome to try. There are usually dirty tricksters trying to fool people into voting on the wrong day but this may be the first time a candidate offered his own campaign.

Quote: "I will tell you: It's three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone: Commerce, Education and the -- what's the third one there? Let's see. ... OK. -- I can't. The third one, I can't. Sorry. Oops.
(During Republican Debate)

Why bother to remember the agencies when you plan to close them? Perry must have some strong opinions about the evil agencies of the government. As soon as he remembers, which ones are bad he will close them, lock the doors and shutter the windows. Those agencies are bad because. . . OK . . . Oops!

Quote: "Texas is a unique place. When we came in the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that. You know, my hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We've got a great union. There is absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what may come out of that?"

So, Rick Perry wants to be President of the United States of America but if that doesn’t work out, well Texas can always secede from the Union and dissolve the Union. The argument is that Texas is an independent nation and the annexation of Texas was illegal. This is despite the fact that both Texas and the US voted to bring Texas into the union. Texas was also a slave state that joined the Confederacy and seceded from the Union once already. Will we have to fight the Civil War again to keep Texas in the Union? When Texas secedes will they bring back slavery?

Quote: “The idea that a congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument.

It’s not often that we hear someone come out in favor of bribing Congress but Newt thinks it’s okay. Buy a Congressman today! On sale, Not Cheap!

Quote: “The problem isn’t too little money in political campaigns, but not enough.”

President Obama is expected to raise a billion dollars for his reelection campaign, I wonder if that is enough. Amazing to hear that our politicians want more money but you can buy Newt today if you have enough cash .

Clinton's 1993 budget bill

Quote: “It kill's jobs and leads to a recession, force people off of work and onto unemployment and will actually increase the deficit. Gosh, how wrong can a person be?” Newt Gingrich

After this bill was passed we had a long period of growth ultimately leading to a balanced budget and even a budget surplus. It wasn’t until the Bush tax cuts and two wars that we found ourselves mired in recession. We’re still waiting for those tax cuts to create jobs and growth.

Quote: “The greatest leaders in fighting for an integrated America in the twentieth century were in the Democratic Party. The fact is, it was the liberal wing of the Democratic Party that ended segregation. The fact is that it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt who gave hope to a nation that was in despair and could have slid into dictatorship. And the fact is, every Republican has much to learn from studying what the Democrats did right.”

Kind of hard to argue with Newt there, maybe we should vote for Democrats until Republicans learn this lesson from Newt

Quote: “She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.”

Newt was talking about his first wife after divorcing her. Newt must be having his own moral crisis but if he is elected we can enjoy a pretty First Lady. Vote Newt and Vote Pretty!

Quote: “It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid…These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school.”

Alright! In a time of high unemployment, low growth and a declining standard of living we should fire school janitors and hire children. Can sweatshops be far behind? Imagine children working again in mines and factories. Let’s return to the good old days of the 1890s before welfare and Social Security. If we mix this idea with Bachmann’s idea about no minimum wage we can replace millions of people with underpaid children. What about your job? Can a child do it?

Quote: “Today I have reached a difficult personal decision. I will not be a candidate for Speaker of the 106th Congress”

Seventy five ethics charges were filed against Speaker Gingrich during his term, including claiming tax-exempt status for a college course run for political purposes. While exonerated from 74 of the 75 ethics charges levied against him, the one that he was charged with, he admitted to, and was levied a $300,000. Another moral crisis Newt?

Quote: "There were times when I was praying and when I felt I was doing things that were wrong. But I was still doing them," he said in the interview. "I look back on those as periods of weakness and periods that I'm ... not proud of."

This was Newt’s response to the charge of hypocrisy when he was having an extramarital affair while impeaching Clinton for lying about his affair. I wonder if Newt would have been forthcoming if he was asked about his own sex life.